Please don't tell her that I've meaning to miss her. B'cos' I don't. - Jason Mraz

"Really sorry that I couldn't meet you before I leave. But that will make me miss you more."

I couldn't help but to stifle a cold laugh when I recalled this sentence.
You know what I feel? I feel that people should stop mis-using and now like almost abuse the meaning of 'I miss you'.
I am not going to doubt the meaning of 'missing me' but inside, I am not believing it anymore. It is even like...So what if I believe? What would I get out of it? Money? I don't even get a penny for believing in it and what's taken from me? Tears? You win.

Is it me or what?
It just present to me that him typing that to me was for the sake of saying so.
Don't even bother arguing about the truth of it cos' you did nothing to earn my belief anymore.
I am not even blaming you. I am aware about the things I did hurting you too.

I know how I should feel when someone tell me he misses me. I can feel it and trust me, even it's coming from someone who shouldn't be saying that, I feel loved and touched. And I know it is truth.
I know how to differentiate whether it is the genuine case of 'I miss you' or actually it is just a greeting of 'miss you'. I experienced and I know.

Yours just feel like a duty to say so nowadays and I can't even bring myself to return the greeting.

You know how I feel when I am seeing, reading, feeling all the love, attention and time that my girlfriends are getting from their partners? I don't wanna say I am jealous but if envy can kill, I'm already dead years back.

I can't help but to recall one particular sms of you saying sorry that you always make me feel that you are not by my side but actually you are.

Tears just keep jamming at my tear ducts but I refused their exit. My throat feels the lump so thick that I don't know how to speak.

The time I just wanna see you, wanted you around are so difficult to make arrangment for.
I don't even want to hope for it anymore. I do not want to feel happy for a while and when things returned to the way that they were, I feel the same old disappointment again.

But all I wanna say is...Don't bother anymore. The more you try to make me believe, the lesser I do now.
It is just as simple as you are here or you are not.
I say. It is just a tad too late to make me believe now.

Do I hurt anymore
Do I hurt, well
I don't
I don't
I don't
-Please don't tell her 'Jason Mraz'